McConnell-Doidge: Week 5
After connecting with some of my fellow student teachers I can say that for most of us this has been the longest week yet. I am not sure if it has to do with coming off such a hectic short week last week or if it was just what seemed like a long week. This week just seemed to be eventful and very busy. I think this is the week I really started stressing, and not so much about student teaching because I still really feel like I found my groove. But, as I was looking at the Illinois teaching standards on my educational portfolio I decided to watch my WeVideo that I made while I was in my technology class here at Trinity. In that video I talk about not wishing time away and letting it pass you by, and at the time I just had my one son Connor, and I talk about wanting to enjoy each and every second with him. Now I have two sons Connor is now 3 years old and Donovan is 8 months old. And the reason I started to stress is because again I know there is a bigger picture here and I am doing this because I was called into teaching, and I am also doing this for my babies. But, even that being true it doesn't make it any easier. This week just really brought perspective in that I'm missing time that I've never missed in my babies lives before, and my biggest fear is that my 8 month old is going to walk while I'm student teaching, or at seminar, or working at one job, or the other. I am stretching myself thin, and my babies are noticing and I am always the person to give 100% in everything that I do and I'm scared I'm not living up to that and failing my kids by doing all that I'm doing and that's not a good feeling.
And that's probably really off topic in terms of my blog this week, but I wouldn't feel right not writing about it because I want my blog to reflect exactly how I'm feeling going through this process and be authentic to those feelings. Not everyday is sunshine and rainbows, it's just been a hard week in terms of that, and I just feel like everything keeps piling on and almost feel like I'm drowning. My house is a mess, i see my kids at 7:45PM every night, and they are about to go to bed, and then I see my husband for an hour before I am exhausted and go to bed and do it all over again. Regardless of all of that I do feel like I'm giving a 100% to my students and all that comes with being an educator. I'm just trying my best to balance everything else out and this week I didn't quite feel like that was accomplished. However, next week is a new week and I hope to find that balance and come up for air.
It feels weird going into talking about those school experiences after spilling my guts, but here goes it. In my freshman classes we were finishing up our basketball unit which was where students were able to put all their skills to the test and engage in various games with each other throughout the week. That was all fine and dandy until today when we got into Fitness Friday and for some students they really enjoy it while others would have preferred to just play basketball. I'm learning you can't please everyone. However, I really appreciate those students who take each and everyday for whatever the activity may be and give it their best effort, and I can tell they take value in each lesson which is truly appreciated and what makes it all worth it when I can tell they are learning and meeting the objectives. Standard 4 - Learning Environment – The competent teacher structures a safe and healthy learning environment that facilitates cultural and linguistic responsiveness, emotional well-being, self-efficacy, positive social interaction, mutual respect, active engagement, academic risk-taking, self-motivation, and personal goal-setting.
I also got the opportunity to sit in on an IEP meeting which if you recall from a previous blog I had mentioned a specific student who had asked "how many points she lost" and I had told her none and that she did a great job participating. The day before her IEP meeting she was in my class which mind you she has been in class very few days since the start of the semester whether it be she was in the intervention room, in school/out of school suspension or what have you. Anyways, she was in class Wednesday and we were in the fitness center/weight room. She had finished her required workout in the fitness center and had come down to the weight room to ask what she should do I gave her the workout we were doing and she completed the whole thing and did an awesome job. For this student, I truly believe physical activity is crucial in burning off some of her excess energy and could be a release of stress that she carries. In her IEP myself, and my cooperating teacher expressed how much of a joy this student has been the times we have had her in our class and how if given a task she has stayed motivated and we feel she truly can benefit from physical activity. It ended up being that they changed her schedule to self-contained and she will no longer be in our class which she was very upset about, as were we. My hope is that she will get the attention and support she needs and that given her plan that she can find success because she has told us on numerous occasions she plans to be a nurse and I want nothing more than to see her accomplish that dream. Standard 9 - Professionalism, Leadership, and Advocacy – The competent teacher is an ethical and reflective practitioner who exhibits professionalism; provides leadership in the learning community; and advocates for students, parents or guardians, and the profession.
Tomorrow is a new day and I hope some of the weight on my shoulders that I'm feeling lifts a little bit, and I'm hoping that this week brings me balance.
And that's probably really off topic in terms of my blog this week, but I wouldn't feel right not writing about it because I want my blog to reflect exactly how I'm feeling going through this process and be authentic to those feelings. Not everyday is sunshine and rainbows, it's just been a hard week in terms of that, and I just feel like everything keeps piling on and almost feel like I'm drowning. My house is a mess, i see my kids at 7:45PM every night, and they are about to go to bed, and then I see my husband for an hour before I am exhausted and go to bed and do it all over again. Regardless of all of that I do feel like I'm giving a 100% to my students and all that comes with being an educator. I'm just trying my best to balance everything else out and this week I didn't quite feel like that was accomplished. However, next week is a new week and I hope to find that balance and come up for air.
It feels weird going into talking about those school experiences after spilling my guts, but here goes it. In my freshman classes we were finishing up our basketball unit which was where students were able to put all their skills to the test and engage in various games with each other throughout the week. That was all fine and dandy until today when we got into Fitness Friday and for some students they really enjoy it while others would have preferred to just play basketball. I'm learning you can't please everyone. However, I really appreciate those students who take each and everyday for whatever the activity may be and give it their best effort, and I can tell they take value in each lesson which is truly appreciated and what makes it all worth it when I can tell they are learning and meeting the objectives. Standard 4 - Learning Environment – The competent teacher structures a safe and healthy learning environment that facilitates cultural and linguistic responsiveness, emotional well-being, self-efficacy, positive social interaction, mutual respect, active engagement, academic risk-taking, self-motivation, and personal goal-setting.
I also got the opportunity to sit in on an IEP meeting which if you recall from a previous blog I had mentioned a specific student who had asked "how many points she lost" and I had told her none and that she did a great job participating. The day before her IEP meeting she was in my class which mind you she has been in class very few days since the start of the semester whether it be she was in the intervention room, in school/out of school suspension or what have you. Anyways, she was in class Wednesday and we were in the fitness center/weight room. She had finished her required workout in the fitness center and had come down to the weight room to ask what she should do I gave her the workout we were doing and she completed the whole thing and did an awesome job. For this student, I truly believe physical activity is crucial in burning off some of her excess energy and could be a release of stress that she carries. In her IEP myself, and my cooperating teacher expressed how much of a joy this student has been the times we have had her in our class and how if given a task she has stayed motivated and we feel she truly can benefit from physical activity. It ended up being that they changed her schedule to self-contained and she will no longer be in our class which she was very upset about, as were we. My hope is that she will get the attention and support she needs and that given her plan that she can find success because she has told us on numerous occasions she plans to be a nurse and I want nothing more than to see her accomplish that dream. Standard 9 - Professionalism, Leadership, and Advocacy – The competent teacher is an ethical and reflective practitioner who exhibits professionalism; provides leadership in the learning community; and advocates for students, parents or guardians, and the profession.
Tomorrow is a new day and I hope some of the weight on my shoulders that I'm feeling lifts a little bit, and I'm hoping that this week brings me balance.
It is good to react both personally and professionally and this time you need to write what you needed to write. I applaud you for taking this teaching journey on at this point in your life. God placed you on this path for a reason, so keep this in mind. You sound as though you have excellent home support behind you, which is great. It also sounds like you are moving forward with each day giving your all to the students you serve. In time the routine will get smoother and you will look back at this and remember when. Keep the faith, keep your head up and looking forward.
ReplyDeleteOnward to week 6,
Dr. Austin